In the future we'll all be gay
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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