Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
