My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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