what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I look better un-naked...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
