make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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