He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
