I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
