okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
