You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
