I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my poor anus
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
