we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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