Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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