There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
