he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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