he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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