Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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