Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize