but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
