sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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