I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
