So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she told me i tasted like america
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
