my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I love having hate sex.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
