maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
