Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize