I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
