So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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