You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I didn't notice because vodka
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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