Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
