the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
