Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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