piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
