come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
