Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
