just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Randomize
