There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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