Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
babies were throwing up all over the place
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
