Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
