He is an equal opportunity slut.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
