Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
