i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
