and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
