I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
