I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
