where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
