After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
