Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
