you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
