if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
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