Umm I'm too high to move.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
