Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
